Sunday 12 December 2010

I'm Alive

I'm alive, just not writing. I have lots that I want to write about, but I never get round to it.

Brief summary of pole stuff in the last few months.:

In early September I trained for and entered the Manchester Heat of Pole Divas. It was quite a different experience from last year where the heat was full. This year hardly anyone was there and there was only one other competitor in my category. I entered in order to give me something to work towards after being sick and operated on during the summer. It was good to have a goal and to work on a routine. This is my (winning entry).



In October I auditioned for a Circus training course and got in. This has shaped my life over the last few months. I've been searching for funding and loans to do it. It's a 12 week course with Greentop Circus in Sheffield (where I already train aerials) and helps you develop circus skills and acts. I auditioned for it after the internship I was offered with another circus company was seriously delayed (that is a sad little saga).

I also performed at a charity night for a Cats' shelter in Stockport at the end of October. Photos are here. The photographer Cornell, sent them to me free as it was a charity event.

November was an odd month. At the start of the month, and the start of my training for the Pole Divas final I dislocated the ring finger on my right hand attempting a difficult drop. It was a pretty terrifying experience. I was really lucky as I pulled the finger back in place very quickly and perfectly, plus I didn't fracture or break the finger. The doctors were quite impressed by how well I'd realigned my finger and once they'd found that it wasn't broken left me to treat it myself (the NHS didn't waste their physiotherapy on me). I stuck to a regime of hot and cold water baths and massage with arnica. I strapped my finger up and resumed practice after a week an a half.

The result was that my routine wasn't as polished I wanted it to be and preparing it was stressful and in the end quite demoralising (due to some last minute drama). One really postitive thing was that my friend Elsie, who I learnt with in Sheffield and have entered many competitions with, also was through to the final and we had a fun practice session the day before the competition. It made me realise how much I miss training with her, It's awesome to have a training partner who isn't competitive. We are so different in what we're good at, but it's so much fun to just mess around and try new things. I really miss it.

This is my entry in the final. It could have been worse, considering. I did enjoy performing it and came runner-up for the second time. All in all, I'm quite proud of what I've acheived. I've come second, twice, to people who are trained gymnasts and amazing performers. I have none of that background.



Post competition it's been a lot more relaxing. I went to a jam with Rainbow Pole fitness at the end of November in Huddersfield, despite it being one of the coldest days of the year it was loads of fun and happened before the snow stopped travel. I missed out on performing in Skegness because of the snow last Sunday. I would have loved to, but we just couldn't get there. Yesterday was a photoshoot with Claire 'Windy' Winters, who takes great pole photos. I really enjoyed getting back into pole and stretching.

I'm currently planning to train until just before Chirstmas and then mostly relax until after the New Year when I'll start getting back in shape for my circus course in the middle of January.

Thursday 30 September 2010

UKAPP 2010 Final!

The UKAPP competition is a UK amateur competition which is in its second year. I attended the Manchester heat in August where my friend Gemma won overall performer. (UKAPP this year had 4 entry levels - the winner of each level, plus the best perfomer of the night went through to the finals - see here for more info).

I was going to write about the Manchester heat, but it all got a little hairy, so I didn't want to fuel anything, but fires are burning anyway and my current writing won't fuel them.

I have to say that from all my experiences with UKAPP (as a competitor last year and a spectator in a heat and the final this year), they are likely the best run competition in the UK. They are well set up and keep to schedule. The judging criteria is clear and generally good. It's a great thing to watch.

The final was held in St Albans, which is a little out of the way for those in the North. I was lucky enough to tie my visit down there with other activities, but I heard it was a horrendously early start for the competitiors with lots of travelling, However, the location was beautiful and seemed to be well equipt.

The MC for all the heats and the final was the amazing Sally-Ann Giles. I have to say that she was an excellent host. She's a very engaging and charismatic speaker. She tied everything together smoothly. Plus, in the final we got to see her perform, which is always awesome. All the judges performed at the final too. I really enjoyed seeing Chantelle Pritchard perform (again, as always) and Annie Norris. I'd never seen Justine McLucas perform, and I enjoyed her perfomance too. I was a little less impressed with the international judges.

The performer category was extremely entertaining. I love how well this category worked. There were some really well thought out perfomances, from funny to well characterised. Gemma's performance in this category nearly had us in tears of happiness.

The intermediate category was impressive. There were some incredible performers in this one too. I was completely charmed by the winner of this category -she had such an amazing smile and really loved what she was doing.

The expert category was awesome and somewhat intimidating. There were 4 performers in particular who had me with my jaw on the floor. Bendy Kate, who won the category and Lauren who was runner up and overall performer of the night were particularly amazing. Lauren's was such a great show and she really deserved that title. It was intimidating in that I will likely compete against many of them in a couple of months' time and I honestly don't know if I measure up!

The intructor category was good, but a little odd. I have to say, before the results came out I would have expected the two most audience popular entries to win (they did have the best characterisation and theme), but the better trixter and dancer won. That said, Sam Cowie is a beautiful performer and did deserve it. There won't be this category next year. I also thought that many of the experts were better than the instructors - maybe they have more time to practice their own stuff?

That said, I'm really looking forward to next year. UKAPP puts on a great show.

Thursday 19 August 2010

Dear Pole Dancers - Re: Mallakhamb

I'm sure most pole dancers have seen this video by now. It's been passed round Facebook like made and made newspaper sites.


I love it. I'd kill to be that flexible, strong co-ordinated and have such lightning-fast transitions. Some of those drops make me want to jump on a pole and try them. What I don't love about the video is some of the commentary I've seen accompanying it (and I've seen quite a few instansiations of this comment):

'This is proof that pole dancing doesn't come from strip clubs!'

Which, is utter bullshit. The type of pole dancing that you, a woman/man in the Western world practice has come out of strip clubs. Most of the moves we do were invented/discovered by strippers. Yes, lots of the moves are similar, but there's only so many things that a human body can do. Yes, there is now a degree of exchange in moves (especially between pole dance and chinese pole - I know because I've been shown moves my a chinese pole performer and vice-versa).

That still doesn't mean that the influence on the pole dance you do isn't primarily from exotic dancers. How to test that? Name me the top Mallakhamb players. I've been doing pole for about 2 and half years, I can't name one. Name me top pole dancers who are current or former exotic dancers? We could be here for a while.

Rant over.

Monday 9 August 2010

7 Month Stretching Progress

I've been posing this everywhere, so why not here?

I've been recording my stretching progress in photo form since early January (thanks to PoleJunkies). It's great as I get to see how much I've improved and things I need to work on. I've been planning to compile the photos and present them. Mostly they're stuck in a massive album on facebook.

So this is my starting flexibility compared with where I am now.



I am ridiculously pleased with a lot of this. My front splits are almost there, my box splits are actually improving (I didn't think they would) and I'm loving my backbends!

I've been stretching lots over the last two months as I've not been fit to pole or much else really. I had a monster 'flu (over 3 weeks of pain and fever) in June and then in July I had two separate impacted wisdom tooth extractions, which I'm only just healing from now. In that time I managed to make quite a bit of progress. I just need to keep it up :D

Friday 2 July 2010

Have You Seen...?

The entries for the International Pole Dance Fitness Championship 2010? The videos of the semi-finalists are being posted regularly here.

There are some familiar names, but some who I've not come across before -and I'm really loving the variety as there are entries from all over the world. It's great to see so many amazing performers who are all quite different.

Apparently you can vote on who goes through some time in September/October. Will have to look into that, but it'll be a difficult choice!

They're really inspiring - makes me look forward to when I put my pole up again - hopefully this weekend.

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Things I am Looking Forward To...

Post-flu that is.

1) Not constantly taking painkillers to keep my temperature down.

2) Wanting to eat.

3) Being able to eat.

4) Not being achey all the time.

5) Being able to do more than simple tasks.

6) Not sweating when I sleep.

7) Not waking up to fevers.

8) Having energy again.

9) Not coughing.

Eventually, getting back on the pole. I dread how weak I'll be.

Thursday 17 June 2010

Broken Body Blues

I am currently sicker than I've been for years. I've got a terrible flu - I'm on my 11th day of it and I'm still feverish, achy and weak. I wake up each morning in pain. I guess it's getting a little better at the moment. I really need to get rid of the fever. At the moment I'm only holding at bay with paracetamol and ibuprofen.

I hate how weak I feel. Doing simple tasks takes all my energy. I can't live a normal life at all. I have to force or trick myself into eating. Fortunately, I have no problems drinking - and I desperately need to. Imagining the simplest step round the pole makes me shudder - I wouldn't even have the energy to do that. Thank goodness for the Discworld and my ability to get lost in it.

So, this week everything has stopped. I can't even stretch. All I can do is lie around and hope to get better. I'm so fed up of being ill.

Sunday 2 May 2010

Energy!

I'm such a sucker for high-energy group pole performances where the dancers just go for it and show off their skills.

The one that made the rounds last week or so:



A definite favourite


I know not everyone likes this type of stuff, but I just love the energy and how full-on these are.

Tuesday 27 April 2010

Sexy: Sometimes I don't want to think about it

So, today I read on a Feminist website about Boobquake. I'd not known it was today. When I first saw something about it, I was amused at the concept and a little annoyed at the 'huh, boobs out - woooo!' comments from some men, but I noted it and forgot about it.

Until today where one writer posted that it was on and loads of commentators leapt in and argued that it was in some way or the other degrading/part of the system of women's exploitation and that women should be showing off their brains instead. Now at this point, I just give up and walk away shaking my head.

I mean, I get it. I know that women are, in general, supposed to present themselves as sexually attractive to some (somewhat) arbitrary, elusive standard of male desire and that it is unfair that women have that expectation put on them and men don't. However, that does not give a green light to some women who insist on looking down on other women to judge and shame them for showing their bodies. And this is what these arguments seem to boil down to. Some feminists hate that they are required to look a certain way so they hit out at other women who fit or aspire to it. You get stuck there and any subtle critique of beauty standards, what ideals they promote, the actual cost of these requirements, the benefits and drawbacks etc, just gets lost.

I happen to think that it is normal for humans to want to appear sexually attractive to other humans. No, I don't think it's healthy for that want to consume and govern your life, but I think it's healthy to take pride in your appearance and enjoy it.

Sometimes the means to that are not the way that these feminists would ever endorse. For me, coming to enjoy my appearance and body has been through pole dancing. It means I now take a pride in my body and its abilities that I never had before. I can now think of myself as sexy, which is something I really never did (thank you years of Christian indoctrination!). I've always been encouraged to take pride in my brain and make that my source of self-esteem. Taking pride in my body and enjoying its capacities is a pretty radical thing for a woman to do, really. Sadly, for some feminists, I've done it in a way that makes them cringe.

Really, all I want to do is not think about these people telling me I'm wrong and just enjoy the way I am.

Wednesday 14 April 2010

Flexibility!

I'm currently working on my flexibility like mad. I'm hoping to get front splits and my feet to my head by the end of the year. I'm also going to see where I can get with box splits - I have little hip flexibility and it sucks.

I'm adding a list of resources I use as it may help someone.

How to Stretch - this was one of the first sites that I used and it now has helpful videos

A page on splits stretches

A wealth of stretches and useful advice. It looks long and is in quite tiny writing, but the comments the author has on the stretches make me laugh.

Back stretches from Yoga.

I've not looked at this one yet, but it comes recommended. There seems to be loads of information.

I have my own stretching record that I am maintaining. There's only two sets in there, but hopefully I will be adding to that tomorrow.

Friday 2 April 2010

March Pole Happpenings

I suck at updating anything at the moment.

So, at the beginning of March (Saturday 6th to be exact) Gemma organised the Pole for Purpose charity event here in Sheffield. She performed as did the lovely Elsie Claire, the super strong XXBEX, who also did a series of push-ups to raise money for the charity tickled pink. I performed as well. It was fun to do a performance that wasn't being judged and that I could try things out I wouldn't do in a competition. The whole thing was filmed by John Gallagher who was doing a project on Pole dancers's opinions on whether Pole should be in the Olympics. He's been filming around the North of England for the last month or so and doing interviews at pole events.

Here are the performances. Thanks to Sharon Gallagher for the videos! They're from the footage her husband filmed. Photos I took are here.

Gemma


Elsie


XXXBEX


Me


This being a month of TripleXBEXXX it seems, I went to a masterclass at Rainbow Pole Fitness in Barnsley with her a couple of weeks ago. The woman is incredible! She's so strong and is a great teacher. She can break moves down well and has a large number of her own individual moves/combinations she teaches.

To add to that a few of us traveled North last Saturday for her opening jam. It was great to see some of the amazing polers in the North jamming and to see Sonia Allcock, the North Wales champion perform (some photos I took here ).

The next few months are looking quite exciting. I'm going to a Suzie Q masterclass in Stoke next week. At the end of May I'll be competing in Louth (as I did last year). I'm looking forward to trying out new things for that. I need to get back on the pole in earnest and start trying things out again.

Friday 26 February 2010

Busy and Offline

I am living in the dark ages!

I have no internet at home for another week. I moved house almost 2 weeks ago now and have been in a frenzy of furniture assembly and other such things. In addition to this I have changed my PhD topic and am trying to get a grasp on it.

This week I've finally had the time to start preparing for a charity performance 'Pole For Purpose', which is next week. I'm looking forward to it. My performance won't be anything amazing as I've not really had much time to prepare, but it should be fun =)

More stuff when I am out of the dark ages.

Thursday 28 January 2010

On the Height of the Bar

This is another negative post. I am actually more cheerful overall right now, I'm just having a few negative thoughts I want to get over and done with.

One of the things that first hooked me into pole dancing was the feeling that I was doing something extraordinary. I mean, what percentage of the population can actually pole dance and do tricks? Most people see a pole and do some silly grinding whilst pulling hideous faces. I'm not a person with a long history of dance or gymnastics training, just a slightly feral child- and young adulthood, but I could get good at pole.

With the influx of ballet dancers, gymnasts, trained dancers and contortionists into pole dancing all bringing their expertise, performance experience and flexibility to bear I find it really easy sometimes to be discouraged. Even though I love YouTube and all the amazing polers on it, there can sometimes be no quicker way to destroy confidence in your own ability than watching some new dancer with a background in dance/gymnastics flexing all over the place, showing amazing strength and control as well as lighting up their environment with their performance skills. All I can think sometimes is - damn. I'll never ever get that good. I might as well give up trying to be any good.

And I know that's a rubbish attitude to take. My father always went on saying when I got like this: 'you'll always find people who are better than you and people that are worse than you at anything. The only meaningful comparison is with yourself'. That's definitely true, but sometimes its hard to just accept that and not compare yourself negatively to the truly amazing people.

I've not really got any conclusion to this. I'm a bit sad that pole is becoming a bit less of the 'everywoman' activity that I felt it was at the start. But really, that's just how things will be. There is no such thing as a level playing field. Those that have training from a young age to be good at these things will be. I just have to compare me to me, and I've no reason not to be pleased with how I've progressed in two years in all sorts of areas (yup, this is probably around my two-year anniversary at the moment - yay!).

It's amazing how much pole as an activity is progressing. There is so much new stuff and so many variations and it's exciting to be part of something that is constantly evolving. The height of the bar is constantly being raised. It's only a very few who can consistently keep up.

Friday 15 January 2010

Decision Point


So, I am currently at a point in my life where I am questioning what I am doing. I started a PhD in October, after waiting a year to get some money to do it. I got a fee waiver, but no money to live on. Thus, I am living on what I earn from the day job and undergraduate tutoring.

The problem with waiting a year was the passion for the subject I had hardened into cynicism and doubt in my own ability. I feel a lot of people in my area are up their own asses. I fear that I will crawl up my own into irrelevance. I am currently suffering from a lack of motivation and confidence in my ability to write and analyse. I've also been unable to devote as much time to things as I could have over the last few months thanks to lack of money, Pole Divas, family and my own rubbishness.

I'm not sure anymore what I'll get out of it. I have no illusions that jobs in my academic area are cushy or abundant. I do enjoy teaching adults - I enjoy engaging with the undergraduates I tutor. I find that intrinsically rewarding. The hope was I could do that as a lecturer. That now, seems quite unlikely, hearing the horror stories of those that have recently submitted. A year ago I wanted to work to see if I could achieve a PhD in something I felt passionate about and prove to myself I am capable.

I feel now that I may have gone in to academic study from my fear of the job market. I had such a shitty time searching for temporary work starting in September last year, that it's made me weary of the job market, I was applying at the time it was contracting badly - but that does not seem to have become any better recently. I am scared of leaving what is relatively 'safe' and throwing myself out in search of a job. I am terrified of being unemployed and having to search from scratch again.

However, the PhD is making me feel rubbish about myself and my worth as a person. I had a meeting with my supervisors today and they are not helping. Their response to my lack of motivation was to say essentially that I'd not made satisfactory process and should go part-time. That was not helpful. Going part-time would not motivate me to work. It would marginalise me from what I'm supposed to be doing and screw up the few financial benefits I get as a student.

That said we did discuss a few things that interested me and would be good to write on. I am willing to give them a try. My plan is to discipline myself to work. Give it until the end of August/September to see if I can get this back, if I can't and I hate it by then - I will quit.

It frustrates me because I have had such an awesome time with all the pole stuff that I've done at the same time that all this is happening. I'd love to make that the focus of my life. I just don't know if there are any options in this area for me to support myself - no performance or teaching oppertunities - and if there are I don't know how to promote myself or have the capital to establish anything. It's sad, because I know what I love and what has made me happy over a difficult year and half.

(The photo at the top is from the day I had the Jenyne Butterfly masterclass - whilst I was waiting for a train to Liverpool - just thought it was beautiful).

Saturday 2 January 2010

Reviewing, Goals and Such

As it's the new year and it'll be two years at the end of this month since I started pole dancing I'll do a little review and set some goals for the next year.

I went to my first pole dance lesson at the end of January 2008. I'd started an MA course in the previous October, before that I'd had two jobs that kept me active. Transferring from that to no exercise made me feel terrible. I tried to get into some new sports and old ones I'd liked, but couldn't. I'd heard a lot of fuss kicked up about pole dancing from feminist writers and seen defenses of it from other writers and about that time I heard of two people who were friends of friends who'd started pole dancing. My now-former housemate and a friend decided to go for a lesson and I decided to join them. They pulled out, but I got the details of the class and trekked out across Sheffield to go to the class. I loved it. To my surprise, I picked things up easily and found them fun. I hurt for days afterwards and had massive bruises, but I felt great. It felt like a natural extension of types of movement I'd done all my life (I was lucky enough to grow up next to sub-tropical jungle - I spent the first 18 years of my life climbing things).

This year I entered three competitions and came second in two of them. That's better than I'd ever expected. I've managed to discover my own style of tricks and go further with it that I knew I could. I've taken classes with Sally-Ann Giles and Jenyne Butterfly. I've mastered a number of tricks I thought I'd never be able to do. I overcame my serious fear of the shouldermount and now love it.

This year I am going to be less tricks-focused. My initial learning of pole had a fitness slant, which is about mastering tricks - and for me, it can get a bit like going through a checklist. Having seen how pole dance as dance actually works I want to aim for that. I want to be able to do things gracefully and move smoothly. So, one of my main goals for this year is to work on my presentation. I need to make sure I point my toes and sort out my hands and arms so that they make good lines. I also need to work on my dance style more and get confident just dancing. I've been working on it for about a month now and it's already paying off - I feel quite happy about the last challenge I did:


My other big goal is to work on my flexibility. I am capable of getting front splits, I just need to dedicate myself to it, which is something I'm really rubbish at doing. I will try and get them by March on my good side if possible. To help this I've already started to go to yoga classes to improve my overall flexibility and to help me with technique. I'd like to get splits on my right side and box splits, but I'm certain they'll take a long time. I will also work on my back flexibility, which is the one type I have naturally. I want my head to touch my feet :)

Having said that I'll focus more on technique and transitions than learning tricks, there are two that I really want to be able to learn this year. They are the phoenix (reverse grab to twisted grip handspring) and to be able to handspring up the pole.

Now that my money situation isn't as completely dire as it was I will start taking circus classes. Greentop opens again on the second week of January and I'm dragging people to a trapeze class. My boyfriend's Christmas present to me was to buy me a place on an aerial silks and trapeze workshop at the end of January. I really want to learn trapeze, silks and hoops. I may also have a go at chinese pole.

Looking forward to the rest of 2010! I've sent off my entry for UKAPP this year and intend to have loads of fun making a routine for that!