Inverted Fun

I'm Alive

2010-12-12T13:33:00.002Z

I'm alive, just not writing. I have lots that I want to write about, but I never get round to it.

Brief summary of pole stuff in the last few months.:

In early September I trained for and entered the Manchester Heat of Pole Divas. It was quite a different experience from last year where the heat was full. This year hardly anyone was there and there was only one other competitor in my category. I entered in order to give me something to work towards after being sick and operated on during the summer. It was good to have a goal and to work on a routine. This is my (winning entry).

In October I auditioned for a Circus training course and got in. This has shaped my life over the last few months. I've been searching for funding and loans to do it. It's a 12 week course with Greentop Circus in Sheffield (where I already train aerials) and helps you develop circus skills and acts. I auditioned for it after the internship I was offered with another circus company was seriously delayed (that is a sad little saga).

I also performed at a charity night for a Cats' shelter in Stockport at the end of October. Photos are here. The photographer Cornell, sent them to me free as it was a charity event.

November was an odd month. At the start of the month, and the start of my training for the Pole Divas final I dislocated the ring finger on my right hand attempting a difficult drop. It was a pretty terrifying experience. I was really lucky as I pulled the finger back in place very quickly and perfectly, plus I didn't fracture or break the finger. The doctors were quite impressed by how well I'd realigned my finger and once they'd found that it wasn't broken left me to treat it myself (the NHS didn't waste their physiotherapy on me). I stuck to a regime of hot and cold water baths and massage with arnica. I strapped my finger up and resumed practice after a week an a half.

The result was that my routine wasn't as polished I wanted it to be and preparing it was stressful and in the end quite demoralising (due to some last minute drama). One really postitive thing was that my friend Elsie, who I learnt with in Sheffield and have entered many competitions with, also was through to the final and we had a fun practice session the day before the competition. It made me realise how much I miss training with her, It's awesome to have a training partner who isn't competitive. We are so different in what we're good at, but it's so much fun to just mess around and try new things. I really miss it.

This is my entry in the final. It could have been worse, considering. I did enjoy performing it and came runner-up for the second time. All in all, I'm quite proud of what I've acheived. I've come second, twice, to people who are trained gymnasts and amazing performers. I have none of that background.

Post competition it's been a lot more relaxing. I went to a jam with Rainbow Pole fitness at the end of November in Huddersfield, despite it being one of the coldest days of the year it was loads of fun and happened before the snow stopped travel. I missed out on performing in Skegness because of the snow last Sunday. I would have loved to, but we just couldn't get there. Yesterday was a photoshoot with Claire 'Windy' Winters, who takes great pole photos. I really enjoyed getting back into pole and stretching.

I'm currently planning to train until just before Chirstmas and then mostly relax until after the New Year when I'll start getting back in shape for my circus course in the middle of January.

UKAPP 2010 Final!

2010-09-30T00:12:00.002+01:00

The UKAPP competition is a UK amateur competition which is in its second year. I attended the Manchester heat in August where my friend Gemma won overall performer. (UKAPP this year had 4 entry levels - the winner of each level, plus the best perfomer of the night went through to the finals - see here for more info).

I was going to write about the Manchester heat, but it all got a little hairy, so I didn't want to fuel anything, but fires are burning anyway and my current writing won't fuel them.

I have to say that from all my experiences with UKAPP (as a competitor last year and a spectator in a heat and the final this year), they are likely the best run competition in the UK. They are well set up and keep to schedule. The judging criteria is clear and generally good. It's a great thing to watch.

The final was held in St Albans, which is a little out of the way for those in the North. I was lucky enough to tie my visit down there with other activities, but I heard it was a horrendously early start for the competitiors with lots of travelling, However, the location was beautiful and seemed to be well equipt.

The MC for all the heats and the final was the amazing Sally-Ann Giles. I have to say that she was an excellent host. She's a very engaging and charismatic speaker. She tied everything together smoothly. Plus, in the final we got to see her perform, which is always awesome. All the judges performed at the final too. I really enjoyed seeing Chantelle Pritchard perform (again, as always) and Annie Norris. I'd never seen Justine McLucas perform, and I enjoyed her perfomance too. I was a little less impressed with the international judges.

The performer category was extremely entertaining. I love how well this category worked. There were some really well thought out perfomances, from funny to well characterised. Gemma's performance in this category nearly had us in tears of happiness.

The intermediate category was impressive. There were some incredible performers in this one too. I was completely charmed by the winner of this category -she had such an amazing smile and really loved what she was doing.

The expert category was awesome and somewhat intimidating. There were 4 performers in particular who had me with my jaw on the floor. Bendy Kate, who won the category and Lauren who was runner up and overall performer of the night were particularly amazing. Lauren's was such a great show and she really deserved that title. It was intimidating in that I will likely compete against many of them in a couple of months' time and I honestly don't know if I measure up!

The intructor category was good, but a little odd. I have to say, before the results came out I would have expected the two most audience popular entries to win (they did have the best characterisation and theme), but the better trixter and dancer won. That said, Sam Cowie is a beautiful performer and did deserve it. There won't be this category next year. I also thought that many of the experts were better than the instructors - maybe they have more time to practice their own stuff?

That said, I'm really looking forward to next year. UKAPP puts on a great show.

Dear Pole Dancers - Re: Mallakhamb

2010-08-19T14:48:00.004+01:00

I'm sure most pole dancers have seen this video by now. It's been passed round Facebook like made and made newspaper sites.

I love it. I'd kill to be that flexible, strong co-ordinated and have such lightning-fast transitions. Some of those drops make me want to jump on a pole and try them. What I don't love about the video is some of the commentary I've seen accompanying it (and I've seen quite a few instansiations of this comment):

'This is proof that pole dancing doesn't come from strip clubs!'

Which, is utter bullshit. The type of pole dancing that you, a woman/man in the Western world practice has come out of strip clubs. Most of the moves we do were invented/discovered by strippers. Yes, lots of the moves are similar, but there's only so many things that a human body can do. Yes, there is now a degree of exchange in moves (especially between pole dance and chinese pole - I know because I've been shown moves my a chinese pole performer and vice-versa).

That still doesn't mean that the influence on the pole dance you do isn't primarily from exotic dancers. How to test that? Name me the top Mallakhamb players. I've been doing pole for about 2 and half years, I can't name one. Name me top pole dancers who are current or former exotic dancers? We could be here for a while.

Rant over.

7 Month Stretching Progress

2010-08-09T13:26:00.003+01:00

I've been posing this everywhere, so why not here?

I've been recording my stretching progress in photo form since early January (thanks to PoleJunkies). It's great as I get to see how much I've improved and things I need to work on. I've been planning to compile the photos and present them. Mostly they're stuck in a massive album on facebook.

So this is my starting flexibility compared with where I am now.

I am ridiculously pleased with a lot of this. My front splits are almost there, my box splits are actually improving (I didn't think they would) and I'm loving my backbends!

I've been stretching lots over the last two months as I've not been fit to pole or much else really. I had a monster 'flu (over 3 weeks of pain and fever) in June and then in July I had two separate impacted wisdom tooth extractions, which I'm only just healing from now. In that time I managed to make quite a bit of progress. I just need to keep it up :D

Have You Seen...?

2010-07-02T16:18:00.002+01:00

The entries for the International Pole Dance Fitness Championship 2010? The videos of the semi-finalists are being posted regularly here.

There are some familiar names, but some who I've not come across before -and I'm really loving the variety as there are entries from all over the world. It's great to see so many amazing performers who are all quite different.

Apparently you can vote on who goes through some time in September/October. Will have to look into that, but it'll be a difficult choice!

They're really inspiring - makes me look forward to when I put my pole up again - hopefully this weekend.

Things I am Looking Forward To...

2010-06-23T12:30:00.002+01:00

Post-flu that is.

1) Not constantly taking painkillers to keep my temperature down.

2) Wanting to eat.

3) Being able to eat.

4) Not being achey all the time.

5) Being able to do more than simple tasks.

6) Not sweating when I sleep.

7) Not waking up to fevers.

8) Having energy again.

9) Not coughing.

Eventually, getting back on the pole. I dread how weak I'll be.

Broken Body Blues

2010-06-17T22:05:00.003+01:00

I am currently sicker than I've been for years. I've got a terrible flu - I'm on my 11th day of it and I'm still feverish, achy and weak. I wake up each morning in pain. I guess it's getting a little better at the moment. I really need to get rid of the fever. At the moment I'm only holding at bay with paracetamol and ibuprofen.

I hate how weak I feel. Doing simple tasks takes all my energy. I can't live a normal life at all. I have to force or trick myself into eating. Fortunately, I have no problems drinking - and I desperately need to. Imagining the simplest step round the pole makes me shudder - I wouldn't even have the energy to do that. Thank goodness for the Discworld and my ability to get lost in it.

So, this week everything has stopped. I can't even stretch. All I can do is lie around and hope to get better. I'm so fed up of being ill.

Energy!

2010-05-02T17:24:00.002+01:00

I'm such a sucker for high-energy group pole performances where the dancers just go for it and show off their skills.

The one that made the rounds last week or so:

A definite favourite

I know not everyone likes this type of stuff, but I just love the energy and how full-on these are.

Sexy: Sometimes I don't want to think about it

2010-04-27T11:40:00.002+01:00

So, today I read on a Feminist website about Boobquake. I'd not known it was today. When I first saw something about it, I was amused at the concept and a little annoyed at the 'huh, boobs out - woooo!' comments from some men, but I noted it and forgot about it.

Until today where one writer posted that it was on and loads of commentators leapt in and argued that it was in some way or the other degrading/part of the system of women's exploitation and that women should be showing off their brains instead. Now at this point, I just give up and walk away shaking my head.

I mean, I get it. I know that women are, in general, supposed to present themselves as sexually attractive to some (somewhat) arbitrary, elusive standard of male desire and that it is unfair that women have that expectation put on them and men don't. However, that does not give a green light to some women who insist on looking down on other women to judge and shame them for showing their bodies. And this is what these arguments seem to boil down to. Some feminists hate that they are required to look a certain way so they hit out at other women who fit or aspire to it. You get stuck there and any subtle critique of beauty standards, what ideals they promote, the actual cost of these requirements, the benefits and drawbacks etc, just gets lost.

I happen to think that it is normal for humans to want to appear sexually attractive to other humans. No, I don't think it's healthy for that want to consume and govern your life, but I think it's healthy to take pride in your appearance and enjoy it.

Sometimes the means to that are not the way that these feminists would ever endorse. For me, coming to enjoy my appearance and body has been through pole dancing. It means I now take a pride in my body and its abilities that I never had before. I can now think of myself as sexy, which is something I really never did (thank you years of Christian indoctrination!). I've always been encouraged to take pride in my brain and make that my source of self-esteem. Taking pride in my body and enjoying its capacities is a pretty radical thing for a woman to do, really. Sadly, for some feminists, I've done it in a way that makes them cringe.

Really, all I want to do is not think about these people telling me I'm wrong and just enjoy the way I am.

Flexibility!

2010-04-14T14:15:00.004+01:00

I'm currently working on my flexibility like mad. I'm hoping to get front splits and my feet to my head by the end of the year. I'm also going to see where I can get with box splits - I have little hip flexibility and it sucks.

I'm adding a list of resources I use as it may help someone.

How to Stretch - this was one of the first sites that I used and it now has helpful videos

A page on splits stretches

A wealth of stretches and useful advice. It looks long and is in quite tiny writing, but the comments the author has on the stretches make me laugh.

Back stretches from Yoga.

I've not looked at this one yet, but it comes recommended. There seems to be loads of information.

I have my own stretching record that I am maintaining. There's only two sets in there, but hopefully I will be adding to that tomorrow.

March Pole Happpenings

2010-04-02T15:57:00.005+01:00

I suck at updating anything at the moment.

So, at the beginning of March (Saturday 6th to be exact) Gemma organised the Pole for Purpose charity event here in Sheffield. She performed as did the lovely Elsie Claire, the super strong XXBEX, who also did a series of push-ups to raise money for the charity tickled pink. I performed as well. It was fun to do a performance that wasn't being judged and that I could try things out I wouldn't do in a competition. The whole thing was filmed by John Gallagher who was doing a project on Pole dancers's opinions on whether Pole should be in the Olympics. He's been filming around the North of England for the last month or so and doing interviews at pole events.

Here are the performances. Thanks to Sharon Gallagher for the videos! They're from the footage her husband filmed. Photos I took are here.

Gemma

Elsie

XXXBEX

Me

This being a month of TripleXBEXXX it seems, I went to a masterclass at Rainbow Pole Fitness in Barnsley with her a couple of weeks ago. The woman is incredible! She's so strong and is a great teacher. She can break moves down well and has a large number of her own individual moves/combinations she teaches.

To add to that a few of us traveled North last Saturday for her opening jam. It was great to see some of the amazing polers in the North jamming and to see Sonia Allcock, the North Wales champion perform (some photos I took here ).

The next few months are looking quite exciting. I'm going to a Suzie Q masterclass in Stoke next week. At the end of May I'll be competing in Louth (as I did last year). I'm looking forward to trying out new things for that. I need to get back on the pole in earnest and start trying things out again.

Busy and Offline

2010-02-26T13:04:00.002Z

I am living in the dark ages!

I have no internet at home for another week. I moved house almost 2 weeks ago now and have been in a frenzy of furniture assembly and other such things. In addition to this I have changed my PhD topic and am trying to get a grasp on it.

This week I've finally had the time to start preparing for a charity performance 'Pole For Purpose', which is next week. I'm looking forward to it. My performance won't be anything amazing as I've not really had much time to prepare, but it should be fun =)

More stuff when I am out of the dark ages.

On the Height of the Bar

2010-01-28T18:50:00.004Z

This is another negative post. I am actually more cheerful overall right now, I'm just having a few negative thoughts I want to get over and done with.

One of the things that first hooked me into pole dancing was the feeling that I was doing something extraordinary. I mean, what percentage of the population can actually pole dance and do tricks? Most people see a pole and do some silly grinding whilst pulling hideous faces. I'm not a person with a long history of dance or gymnastics training, just a slightly feral child- and young adulthood, but I could get good at pole.

With the influx of ballet dancers, gymnasts, trained dancers and contortionists into pole dancing all bringing their expertise, performance experience and flexibility to bear I find it really easy sometimes to be discouraged. Even though I love YouTube and all the amazing polers on it, there can sometimes be no quicker way to destroy confidence in your own ability than watching some new dancer with a background in dance/gymnastics flexing all over the place, showing amazing strength and control as well as lighting up their environment with their performance skills. All I can think sometimes is - damn. I'll never ever get that good. I might as well give up trying to be any good.

And I know that's a rubbish attitude to take. My father always went on saying when I got like this: 'you'll always find people who are better than you and people that are worse than you at anything. The only meaningful comparison is with yourself'. That's definitely true, but sometimes its hard to just accept that and not compare yourself negatively to the truly amazing people.

I've not really got any conclusion to this. I'm a bit sad that pole is becoming a bit less of the 'everywoman' activity that I felt it was at the start. But really, that's just how things will be. There is no such thing as a level playing field. Those that have training from a young age to be good at these things will be. I just have to compare me to me, and I've no reason not to be pleased with how I've progressed in two years in all sorts of areas (yup, this is probably around my two-year anniversary at the moment - yay!).

It's amazing how much pole as an activity is progressing. There is so much new stuff and so many variations and it's exciting to be part of something that is constantly evolving. The height of the bar is constantly being raised. It's only a very few who can consistently keep up.

Decision Point

2010-01-15T16:13:00.007Z

So, I am currently at a point in my life where I am questioning what I am doing. I started a PhD in October, after waiting a year to get some money to do it. I got a fee waiver, but no money to live on. Thus, I am living on what I earn from the day job and undergraduate tutoring.

The problem with waiting a year was the passion for the subject I had hardened into cynicism and doubt in my own ability. I feel a lot of people in my area are up their own asses. I fear that I will crawl up my own into irrelevance. I am currently suffering from a lack of motivation and confidence in my ability to write and analyse. I've also been unable to devote as much time to things as I could have over the last few months thanks to lack of money, Pole Divas, family and my own rubbishness.

I'm not sure anymore what I'll get out of it. I have no illusions that jobs in my academic area are cushy or abundant. I do enjoy teaching adults - I enjoy engaging with the undergraduates I tutor. I find that intrinsically rewarding. The hope was I could do that as a lecturer. That now, seems quite unlikely, hearing the horror stories of those that have recently submitted. A year ago I wanted to work to see if I could achieve a PhD in something I felt passionate about and prove to myself I am capable.

I feel now that I may have gone in to academic study from my fear of the job market. I had such a shitty time searching for temporary work starting in September last year, that it's made me weary of the job market, I was applying at the time it was contracting badly - but that does not seem to have become any better recently. I am scared of leaving what is relatively 'safe' and throwing myself out in search of a job. I am terrified of being unemployed and having to search from scratch again.

However, the PhD is making me feel rubbish about myself and my worth as a person. I had a meeting with my supervisors today and they are not helping. Their response to my lack of motivation was to say essentially that I'd not made satisfactory process and should go part-time. That was not helpful. Going part-time would not motivate me to work. It would marginalise me from what I'm supposed to be doing and screw up the few financial benefits I get as a student.

That said we did discuss a few things that interested me and would be good to write on. I am willing to give them a try. My plan is to discipline myself to work. Give it until the end of August/September to see if I can get this back, if I can't and I hate it by then - I will quit.

It frustrates me because I have had such an awesome time with all the pole stuff that I've done at the same time that all this is happening. I'd love to make that the focus of my life. I just don't know if there are any options in this area for me to support myself - no performance or teaching oppertunities - and if there are I don't know how to promote myself or have the capital to establish anything. It's sad, because I know what I love and what has made me happy over a difficult year and half.

(The photo at the top is from the day I had the Jenyne Butterfly masterclass - whilst I was waiting for a train to Liverpool - just thought it was beautiful).

Reviewing, Goals and Such

2010-01-02T13:51:00.004Z

As it's the new year and it'll be two years at the end of this month since I started pole dancing I'll do a little review and set some goals for the next year.

I went to my first pole dance lesson at the end of January 2008. I'd started an MA course in the previous October, before that I'd had two jobs that kept me active. Transferring from that to no exercise made me feel terrible. I tried to get into some new sports and old ones I'd liked, but couldn't. I'd heard a lot of fuss kicked up about pole dancing from feminist writers and seen defenses of it from other writers and about that time I heard of two people who were friends of friends who'd started pole dancing. My now-former housemate and a friend decided to go for a lesson and I decided to join them. They pulled out, but I got the details of the class and trekked out across Sheffield to go to the class. I loved it. To my surprise, I picked things up easily and found them fun. I hurt for days afterwards and had massive bruises, but I felt great. It felt like a natural extension of types of movement I'd done all my life (I was lucky enough to grow up next to sub-tropical jungle - I spent the first 18 years of my life climbing things).

This year I entered three competitions and came second in two of them. That's better than I'd ever expected. I've managed to discover my own style of tricks and go further with it that I knew I could. I've taken classes with Sally-Ann Giles and Jenyne Butterfly. I've mastered a number of tricks I thought I'd never be able to do. I overcame my serious fear of the shouldermount and now love it.

This year I am going to be less tricks-focused. My initial learning of pole had a fitness slant, which is about mastering tricks - and for me, it can get a bit like going through a checklist. Having seen how pole dance as dance actually works I want to aim for that. I want to be able to do things gracefully and move smoothly. So, one of my main goals for this year is to work on my presentation. I need to make sure I point my toes and sort out my hands and arms so that they make good lines. I also need to work on my dance style more and get confident just dancing. I've been working on it for about a month now and it's already paying off - I feel quite happy about the last challenge I did:

My other big goal is to work on my flexibility. I am capable of getting front splits, I just need to dedicate myself to it, which is something I'm really rubbish at doing. I will try and get them by March on my good side if possible. To help this I've already started to go to yoga classes to improve my overall flexibility and to help me with technique. I'd like to get splits on my right side and box splits, but I'm certain they'll take a long time. I will also work on my back flexibility, which is the one type I have naturally. I want my head to touch my feet :)

Having said that I'll focus more on technique and transitions than learning tricks, there are two that I really want to be able to learn this year. They are the phoenix (reverse grab to twisted grip handspring) and to be able to handspring up the pole.

Now that my money situation isn't as completely dire as it was I will start taking circus classes. Greentop opens again on the second week of January and I'm dragging people to a trapeze class. My boyfriend's Christmas present to me was to buy me a place on an aerial silks and trapeze workshop at the end of January. I really want to learn trapeze, silks and hoops. I may also have a go at chinese pole.

Looking forward to the rest of 2010! I've sent off my entry for UKAPP this year and intend to have loads of fun making a routine for that!

Awesome Early December Happenings

2009-12-31T12:42:00.007Z

I will write a little bit and post a few photos of the two exciting things that happened in early December.

The first was Deb Riley's launch of the British Pole Dance Academy in Stoke-on-Trent. The place is massive. Apparently there are 18 poles ( a good mix of 45mm and 50mm poles) an aerial hoop, a trapeze and silks. There's a stage built into the studio and exciting lights.

The launch was a massive jam punctuated by amazing performances. Bridget Sachill (North Pole), Sally-Ann Giles, Chantelle Pritchard, Tracy Simmonds, Elena Gibson, Alesia Vazmitzel and Jenyne Butterfly. It was amazing and inspiring to watch such incredible performers. I dragged my camera along and took some photos. For being seriously out of practice with the camera I took some good ones. The photo below is a favourite- it's Sally-Ann Giles doing a deathlay.

More photos of that event on Facebook.

A week later me and another girl shared a lesson with Jenyne Butterfly (pictured on left performing at Riley's launch - the woman is all muscle!). I would have loved to go to the three hour masterclass. I could only afford one half of a one-to-one, but it was so worth it. I learnt so much, Jenyne, in person is truly inspiring and lovely. I really enjoyed it. I learnt a number of exciting combinations and had an attempt at the phoenix, which I didn't quite get (but that's something I can work on eventually).

I came away from the lesson inspired and with so much to practice. (On the right me - looking silly - after the class with Jenyne Butterfly at Iosis in Liverpool).

It was quite an awesome end to a very exciting year which I will hopefully review tomorrow =)

YouTube Comments Rant - The first of many

2009-12-30T15:05:00.003Z

I've not updated in ages, despite having some amazing pole events at the start of December and now I'm ranting? I'm not a consistant writer at all!

I feel the need to rant about a trend I see in YouTube commenting on pole videos. There's an extent to which ranting about comments on YouTube is like shouting into a void, but it's my space, so I'll go ahead.

Before I start, this isn't something that's happened to me as yet, but I've seen it enough to annoy me.

On vidoes, you'll occasionally get a comment that goes along the lines of 'Don't watch this, watch Felix/Pantera instead' or ' This is crap compared to Felix/Jenyne Butterfly' . Who are the assholes that think it's ok to write something like that? All the dancers they invoke are amazing yes, but it's not as if the vast majority of pole dancers out there believe that they're up to that standard. They're just doing the best they can.

It absolutely fails as feedback. No, x is not Pantera/Felix/Jenyne, and she/he knows that. That comment doesn't tell them anything they don't already know. How about constructive criticism?

Futhermore, who gave them permission to speak on behalf of those they claim are better? From what I've heard of people like Pantera, Felix and Jenyne, they're not at all like that.

If you've not got something constructive to say STFU.

Pole Divas Final

2009-11-24T18:47:00.003Z

I suppose I should write something about this, considering I wrote a fair bit before it happened about the stress of preparing for it.

I spent a lot of my time pre-performance feeling nauseous and nervous. Despite that, I managed to talk with a load of lovely people who were competing. I really enjoy how people are friendly at Pole Competitions. It's fun to meet new pole dancers and people are really encouraging. I didn't really get to watch the amateurs and the rest of my category and am looking forward to seeing videos. I loved Sasha's routine as it was brilliant, Vicky's made me smile with its energy, Kaila's was so graceful despite injury and Karry, who won our category was as amazing as I expected her to be.

When it came to my performance. I felt that despite the blatant mess-ups (of which there were a few!) I pretty much did as well as I could. I feel that in retrospect now. When I walked off I was mad at myself for missing my death lay (it felt like I lost strength at that point - my friend Elsie reckons I went into it too fast - I think she's right about that as in my practices I took my time and it worked fine). I just looked at some photos of me at the amazing Motion Stop Factory (seriously - I reckon he's one of the best pole photographers out there - I love, love his photos) and it surprises me how happy I look. I did really enjoy the performance.

One of the best things about being in the amateur advanced category is that you can relax after your performance and watch the professionals. I really enjoyed that. I also really enjoyed seeing Annie Norris' performance - she truly deserved her win. There were so many incredible performances and they were all so different.

Elsie loves watching Sally-Ann Giles perform and at the final, when she performed after all the competition performances I could see why (I missed out at the British Isles competition - being so tired). She was in absolute top form on Sunday and just stunning - she does have this amazing stage presence that's compelling.

To my absolute shock I came second in the advanced amateur category. I really had no expectation that would be the outcome at all. I hoped that I could at least scrape within the top 6 or so. Second place was inconceivable. So, two days later I'm still feeling surprised . I'm also feeling strangely proud of myself and happy about my pole dancing. I feel like I've found what is my style and I'm content with it. I'm also so glad that I can now relax and enjoy myself messing around and learning again.

Cheered

2009-11-20T19:01:00.003Z

I feel so much better about Sunday today. I went for a practice in the studio with Sasha, Mrs. Gem and baby. Robo-Jo also turned up for a quick visit. Sasha and I did run-throughs of our routines. I messed up the first time, but got pretty much how I'd like it the second time. I feel better for having a run through in front of an audience (however small). I'm ready to go out and enjoy myself and perform as best I can. I'm still incredibly nervous though, but it feels like instead of having the aim of not making an idiot of myself I have the aim of enjoying myself.

I can't wait to see the crowd's reaction to Sasha's routine. It'll be brilliant to experience - she has a excellent song choice and brilliant dance routine bit in addition to her flawless, well-timed tricks. It'll be great to watch :)

Overwhelmed

2009-11-18T21:05:00.002Z

(which I learnt today is actually a metaphor - it refers to falling into the water off a boat)

So, Sunday is the Pole Divas final and I'm not feeling good about it. The last month has been hectic. I've started in earnest on the PhD and the year I've had off has lost me a lot of background knowledge about the area. It just slips out of your head if you don't engage with it all the time. I'm finding hard to write and formulate ideas. In addition to this, I've been organising moving house, which will hopefully happen before Christmas (maybe?). I've also been working, so I can eat and pay rent.

On top of all this, I've been trying to prepare for Pole Divas. It's not been easy as I'd planned to ease myself into starting at the beginning of November. Stupidly, I injured my arm on my birthday (I'd jammed with people during the afternoon and hurt it and then pole danced at night) and had to give it a rest (I couldn't brush my hair without my shooting pains in my elbow). Fortunately, the week's rest I gave it helped heal it, but my practice time was cut to a week and a half - and I had to ease back into putting weight on my arm. Yes, it was the best thing to do for me long term, but it's left me in a panic as I feel under prepared.

I managed to send in a piece of rubbish work today. I also missed a supervision meeting today as I thought it was tomorrow. It's been rearranged to Friday (funnily enough, for after I go for waxing - it remains to be seen which is the more painful experience).

I so desperately do not want to make a fool of myself on Sunday. I know if I can relax, enjoy, and take the time over my moves and all, I'll be fine, but I'm just not feeling it. I wish I had about 6 more hours in each day. In all honesty, I'll be glad when this pressure is over and pole dancing is one less thing I have to worry about. I can go back to just messing around and enjoying myself. Come December there are all sorts of exciting things happening pole wise. There's the studio's Christmas party, which looks to be fun, the launch of Deb Riley's British Pole Academy, something I can't wait to attend (It has amazing performances! And a giant pole jam!) and excitingly, Jenyne Butterflys' UK tour and I'm sharing a 121 lesson with another poler. Jenyne Butterfly is my absolute aspirational standard. She' s so strong, controlled, innovative and such a beautiful performer. I can't wait.

I'm looking forward to resting physically without guilt. I want to go back and do some trapeze to sort out what I've done to my upper back through pole (one handed bow and arrows do something weird to my spine - trapeze and some belly dancing isolations have been the things that put it back in place). I also want to be open about what I'm doing. I feel like I have to hoard my practices whilst I'm preparing for competitions. I really wish I had opportunities to perform that weren't competitions. Performances where I wasn't being judged in some manner where I could just have fun. But I don't here at the moment.

A salad of mixed emotions

2009-10-25T17:51:00.004Z

The Negative:

I've been finding this week quite difficult. It feels like I just don't have enough time. I need to get flexible, get ready for Pole Divas, work at the day jobs and get started on my academic work. At the moment I feel drained and stressed.

The world isn't helping much. It too seems to be coming apart. In my city we've had strikes by the postal services, fire services and buses. Nothing seems to work in this country anymore. In addition, the BNP and their existence seem to be dominating national discourse. To me, the BNP actually feel like a personal threat, seeing as multicultural products like me are high on their list of evils.

I just want to take a few days away from people and news.

Pole-wise, I've gained some fear. My back has been put out by too many one-handed bow and arrows and is taking a while to heal up. I've got the fear of that and my rubbish knee grip to overcome. It's not easy.

The Positive:

This week it is half term for schools. I'm off work so I can structure my time (mostly) as I like. I can try to get things read and written. Hopefully, I'll be able to focus on flexibilty training and some new exciting combinations. I'd like to create a sustainable routine where I can get more flexible.

I had a really good day today. Despite the interference of the bus strikes I managed to make it to the circus, where they had a 'Day of Dance'. Even though there were very few of us taking part, I still got loads out of it. It was an introduction to a number of styles, bollywood, bhangra, snake dance and gypsy fusion. The teacher was incredibly encouraging and positive, despite the fact she was more comfortable working with large groups, she still made the day enjoyable. One thing I really enjoyed was the way she ran things. She'd teach a few moves and then string them together. Then she'd tell us to get into our own space and just move to the music using what she'd taught us and anything that felt appropriate. At the end of the class she got us to work on creating our own mini routine to do together. I found this a really freeing way of learning. I've never experience that in a dance class before. I did formal dance training when I was younger and that's scared me slightly off many dance classes (long story!). It's nice to find something that I don't feel intimidated by. I've aslo been feeling stunted in my ability to just dance recently and that restored some confidence.

This week I am booked to try acrobatics on Thursday evening at the circus. Following that, there is an aerial skill-swap session. At the trapeze workshop I did in the summer I was encouraged to go. I've tried for the last 2 weeks, but stuff has come up. I'll be interested to see what I can try!

The British Isles Pole Dance Competition: A Spectator Review

2009-10-19T12:07:00.002+01:00

I suppose I should have taken the general presentation of the magazine and the manner in which I even got to see the event as a foreshadowing of what it was going to be like. My friend was given two free tickets after Pole2Pole magazine messed up her subscription when she moved as recompense (or were they just trying to get rid of tickets?).

So, on Friday I travelled down South, pretty excited as I was looking forward to seeing some amazing dancers perform, some who I'd seen before and many that I'd not. Post-viewing, I'm not entirely sure what my expectations of the event were beforehand apart from looking forward to the performances. I wasn’t let down by that at all. It’s unfortunate that my strongest impression of the whole event, the one that overrides all of the amazing pole dancing I saw, is of the incredible disorganisation of the whole event.

We arrived at the competition venue in Essex and for some reason we both felt tense and nervous. The competition was late starting. In this time we bought Mighty Grip gloves (which I’m impressed with) and I spilt my beer – my normal incompetence aggravated by my nerves.

When the competition finally started it opened with belly dance performers. I’m afraid to say that I wasn’t taken with them. Their facial expressions were set in concrete and their performance went on for ages. Finally, the amateur section of the competition began. They were quite varied in their ability, but all were unique to watch; however, they weren’t helped at all by the competition organisation. The MC regularly got names wrong, the wrong music was regularly played (one dancer had to wait ages on stage whilst they tried to figure out the right track to play) and the pole looked very slippery (they didn’t look thoroughly cleaned). In addition to this, the set up was supposed to be that one pole was spinning and one was static; however the spinning pole did not seem to be set up properly during the amateur section. So basically there were two static poles.

Through this stage of the evening, the hall was less than half full. Disappointing I suspect, though it did mean that the audience was the most respectful it was all evening.

Special cringeworthiness goes to the MC, who seemed totally unprepared and unable to handle her task. She frequently got names wrong and mispronounced them. She couldn’t remember the charities the raffle she was constantly flogging was in aid of. She was regularly sent off by the judges who hadn’t had time to confer before she ushered the next contestant on. This was due to her being unable to fill in the time between performances with anything interesting and coherent to say. By the end of the evening, people around us were shouting at her to stop talking and get off stage. I wish I could say something nice, but really, it was painful sitting through her presenting.

The professional category followed the amateur. Throughout this category the mess-ups with names and music worsened, the MCing between performances got more excruciating, but the spinning pole appeared to work. What did get considerably worse was the behaviour of the audience. There were more people in during this category; however, people talked continuously during the performances (you could hear a level of talk even above the music) and walked around through the rows and aisles. There were a number of noticeably drunk and rowdy people as well as a couple of contingents of heckling men, who got worse as the evening wore on (and it did wear on. The event overran by at least 2 hours).

There were a couple of cringingly awful MC incidents due to this factor. One when she decided to attempt to inspire a debate as to whether pole dancing was ‘athletic’ or ‘balletic’ (‘cos there are no other styles of dance you can bring in?), to which one of these men yelled ‘it’s about sex’ from the back (we did have to laugh). Another was when one dancer danced in what they later described as ‘club style’ which sent these men mad and caused the MC to run on after and condemn her style, which was both insulting to the performer and locking the barn after the horse has bolted.

What should have been the climax of the event, the champion of champions category can in late after more raffle demands and another iteration of the stone-faced belly dancers. By this time (it was probably about midnight? I seem to remember looking at the time in horror) I was pretty exhausted after all my travelling and the audience was getting increasingly restless, though a lot of people did leave at this point. Despite this, the four competitors (down from six) were breath-takingly good and performed brilliantly, despite being so late on. I only really have some impressions of how they performed and can’t remember many of the details that I’d like to as I was so out of it by that time.

After this we had the raffle draw, which took ages because some of the people with tickets they drew had left, so they had to keep drawing to get rid of their prizes! During this time the results were decided. Then the competitors were called to the stage. This took a while, as it seemed they’d been given no warning as to when this would happen and lots of them weren’t around. There was a lot of dithering as to whether the results should go ahead without them. Finally they managed to get all the competitors and judges on stage and......

THEY’D LOST THE RESULTS.

(or had they just not set up the sashes and trophies? Either way, they weren’t ready to give the results)

So everyone on stage sat down and waited for what seemed like ages. At this point it descended into even more of a farce than it had been when two men got on stage and started having dance off on the pole (they weren’t bad) and were pulled off by a bouncer. A large number of people left, many of the rest were milling about and complaining. We were ready to drop asleep, but we collected our coats, waited for the results and walked out almost as soon as they’d been announced. It was about 1am. We’d been there since 6.30pm and the event was supposed to run between 7pm and 11pm.

To be fair, there were positives to the competition. As fair as I could tell the judging appeared to be fair and was done by pole dancers. The competitors all did amazingly, despite the shoddy running of the event. What’s frustrating is that that shoddy running overshadows their efforts. The organisation and presenting was pretty disrespectful to their preparation and performances. They really deserved so much better than this.

Another thing I find particularly aggravating about the whole event is that this was apparently all filmed by the BBC for a documentary. It angers me that they have footage of how badly and unprofessionally it was organised and of how disrespectfully a lot of the audience behaved. This, rather than the amazing dancers could be used to represent pole dancing in the UK. It’s unfair that this competition, rather than the other well organised and vibrant ones I’ve participated in may represent pole dancing to the general public. People have enough of a critical eye towards pole dance and the organisation of this competition makes pole seem a shambles, unprofessional
and badly presented. I suppose I really shouldn’t be surprised as it was run by Pole2Pole magazine, which is in general riddled with basic spelling, grammar and formatting errors. It’s just gutting that they’ve set themselves up to represent the pole dance industry in the UK and worldwide. We seriously deserve better.

Training

2009-10-06T10:26:00.005+01:00

So, now that I have about 7 weeks to prepare for the final I've got to get into some sort of routine. For the last month or so I've been toying with the idea of trying to get front splits on my good side by my birthday. My birthday is halloween, so that gives me just under 4 weeks to give it a go. In the preparation for the Pole Divas heat I neglected my flexibility training quite badly. Now I plan to use this blog to keep a record of how it's going in order to motivate me.

This is where I was last night after not training for a week (on the good side).

It looks worse than it did last night!

On my bad side, I have no such goals. My right leg has all sorts of remenants of knee and ankle injuries from my teens and I have to take everything very slowly and be very gentle. It can be pretty fustrating, but I am seeing improvement. This is where it's at:

Box splits are probably well over a year away. I've not got flexibility that way at all.

As for making a routine, I know that the best thing for me to do is just listen to a lot of music and see what song I want to dance to most and mess around on the pole experimenting with the combinations that run through my head for the next month. Basically, relaxing and enjoying pole dancing.

Shocked, but very very happy

2009-10-04T15:28:00.005+01:00

Last night I entered the Manchester heat of Pole Divas, the national pole fitness competition in the UK. I entered last year, without knowing what to expect and found it a real challenge, but was absolutely inspired by the professional category of entrants. I entered the advanced amateur level, which allows you to perform inverts (the amateur level doesn't).

I was probably the happiest I've been in a competition. The atmosphere was great, the crowd was good, it was well-organised and all the performers in all three categories were so amazing to watch. It was really a brilliant showcase of pole talent!

I was quite worried about entering this year as I've been worried a bit about my health and in the week before the competition I was very tired and weak (I've been enrolling for Uni and starting on more post-graduate work, so it's been intense). I'd dithered over my music choice for ages and whilst my routine came together in 2-3 days I was pretty nervous. Pole Divas this year had a list of complusory elements. I was anxious about them, despite the fact that once I got round to planning the routine it was very easy to fulfill all the requirements (though I did have to teach myself to do a hip-hold!).

This was the routine I performed. I can see loads of mistakes - particularly in my movement away from the pole. I stumbled so many times! But despite all that, I came joint first place with Sasha, from the same pole school as me. We're in the final in November and I'm really quite excitied about it.

One of the best things about the whole experience for me was that this is the routine I've created which expresses how I enjoy doing pole dance. It's definitely the most 'me' of anything I've done before. You can't see in this video, but I was grinning thoughout the whole performance, as I was really enjoying it all. It's amazing that just going for it like that got me a great result!

Out of it

2009-08-23T14:04:00.004+01:00

I'm having a major pole-slump at the moment. I've put myself through a physically and emotionally draining time and I can't get myself back into action in life generally and fitness-wise. I just don't have the energy. I'll be seeing my family as they're over in the UK this week and then going on holiday at the start of September. Hopefully that will help me recover. I'll be starting study and work soon after so I should get into a routine.

I went to a master class with Sally-Ann Giles at the start of August. It was really helpful to me. I realise that I need to learn from polers who are that good. I'm not really learning anything in normal classes. I need a perfectionist eye and to learn different styles. Unfortunately that requires money I don't have at the moment. It fustrates me how I'm priced out of a lot of the amazing pole lessons here in the UK (I'm really sad that I couldn't afford a Felix master class and that a wedding meant I couldn't go to the Liverpool meet and greet). Pole dancing is a much more expensive hobby than I anticipated it would be.

I'm also worried as one of the polers I practice a fair bit with is leaving soon. I probably won't go to class as often when she's gone. I'm wondering whether I should switch to learning trapeze and silks for a while and shake myself up that way.

My ongoing hatred for the British weather

2009-07-21T17:53:00.005+01:00

So, today we were supposed to be giving a pre-competition performance to some friends -some who pole and some who don't. The UKAPP has the new x-stage and my instructor has one, which we borrowed.

The plan was to hold it outside in my garden tonight. However, it has been raining pretty much all day. The sun is out at the moment, but the ground is wet and there's nowhere else we can use the stage. So we're going to use the poles at the studio. This is great apart from the fact that I want to practice things that need the x-stage. I discovered that a stage pole gives you exciting options such as my favourite pole photo of me so far:

(taken on a practice when the weather was nice - during the 3 minutes of sunshine we had!).

Because I'm a little bit on a neurotic perfectionist. I'll feel a bit like I won't have made sure I'm practiced for Saturday. I'm sure I'll be fine and if I relax and just enjoy it, I will be. But then I wouldn't be me if I did.

Gah!

2009-06-29T20:00:00.002+01:00

So, I get my confirmation of my entry into the UKAPP today. I have just over 3 weeks to come up with a routine. I've sent in my song and all. I love it - it's going to be great fun.

But today, I wake up and the cold I've been fighting for the last week has decided to get worse. I can't breathe and feel weak.

I have all these ideas in my head - some possible and I want to try them out, but I can't.

I hate being ill.

Beginner's Trapeze

2009-06-20T21:08:00.003+01:00

Today I went to a local circus skill and had a go at trapeze. I loved it. It's a really good crossover from pole. I found it more demanding on the upper body though. I found I could pick stuff up fairly quickly (photo is of me doing a birdsnest).

One of the things I loved was that there are so many drops you can do. We only learnt a few, but the ones we did I enjoyed. As drops are one of my favourite things to do in pole dancing, it was perfect for me.

I'll look into doing it more regularly. They have classes weekly so I may start trapeze properly (money permitting).

We also had a go at some silks. It was at the end of the 5 hour session so I was pretty exhausted. I really want to learn how to do them.

Having visited the circus, I feel that pole fits in well with the idea of circus. Circus training is performance training and pole, to me is a performance, rather than a strict 'sport'.

I love hot weather

2009-06-18T10:08:00.003+01:00

I grew up in the tropics so I find the UK quite hard to deal with, especially in the winter. I've taken to lying in the sun like a cat whenever there's some sun to be had here. Another great thing about hot weather is it makes the poles really sticky. Some people really don't like this. I understand why. It really restricts your options and you get stuck - I got stuck halfway up the pole in a teddy last night! Despite this, I love grippy poles as it gives me a chance to practice all things that require a knee grip.

Nornally my knee grip is non-existant. I put the back of my knee on the pole and it just slides off. The only things that stop this happening are grip aid or poles in warm weather. In class yesterday the poles were super grippy. I had a go at all the knee grip stuff I normally can't do. I figured out brass monkey from cross-knee release, tried eros and did some quick cupids and kneeswings.

I also did a lot of knee holds and worked out a kind of holly drop. Mine's a bit weird compared to others that I've seen. All the other videos I've seen of it show people going into a thigh hold and then scorpio. I drop straight into a scorpio.

I've fallen in love with drops over the last few months. I love how they feel and how dramatic they look.

Why I Pole Dance

2009-06-14T19:41:00.000+01:00

I pole dance because it's something that feels like it comes naturally to me. I feel like I can achieve things. I can be myself. I can make other people astonished at my strength and daring. I feel like it's an activity that fits with my personality.

When I pole dance I enjoy being my body and feeling that it's not awkward and clumsy, like it usually is. I can be graceful and dangerous. I can get that rush of excitement at something reckless done well. I love being strong and developing 'useful' muscles.

I enjoy performance. I enjoy dressing up and making a show. I enjoy feeling sexy and find no reason I should be ashamed of that. It feels like I'm doing it for me, because I am worth being stunning and having an audience.

I suppose that's vain, but I don't give myself much space for that normally.

I enjoy feeling good about myself. I enjoy being proud of my body.

Pole work Blog

2009-05-23T14:14:00.001+01:00

A record of my pole adventures